


Doubts

by calie15



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, F/M, First Time, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 18:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5302595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calie15/pseuds/calie15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has his doubts and calls his best friend in the middle of the night to put them at ease.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubts

‘Hello?’

“Tell me you were right,” Bucky says immediately.

‘It’s…the middle of the night Buck. Right about what?’

Bucky sighed and rubbed his face then glanced behind him at the closed balcony doors. He stepped forward and leaned over the railing, resting his elbows on it. It was cold out, much to cold for the normal person to be standing outside in only a pair of shorts when most people would be bundled in coats, gloves, and scarves. It didn’t bother him. 

“You always make the right choice. I did what you said, I thought about myself for once,” Bucky explained, but even he knew he wasn’t telling the entire truth. He knew Steve wouldn’t understand just yet.

Steve laughed over the phone. ‘I don’t think I’m always right…’

“Please,” Bucky argued, “you’re America’s golden boy. I think the entire country would say otherwise.”

‘Okay, I’ll argue that point later. What is it I’m telling you is okay?’

Again Bucky sighed. He felt almost foolish trying to explain himself.

‘Don’t think about it, just say it.’

Steve always said he thought about things to much now. That Bucky used to do just do things and that was probably true, because most of Bucky’s actions throughout his life had bad consequences.

“I kept something from you, because I wasn’t even sure how to tell you, I wasn’t even sure I knew what the hell was going on. But…” Bucky closed his eyes and bowed his head, wincing slightly as he struggled, “there was damn woman.”

Steve chuckled. ‘A woman? That’s it? That isn’t bad.’

Bucky shook his head as if Steve could see him and looked back out of the lights of the city. “Annoyingly smart, didn’t mind reminding me how much lower my IQ was then hers.”

‘I like her already.’

Even Bucky cracked a small grin, because as he flipped through his memories of her he couldn’t help but feel a small amount of pleasure. “It was to late before I realized what was happening, and I was totally fucked. She wasn’t just a pretty face or a way to get my mind off things.”

‘You care about her.’

Bucky swallowed at the now serious tone of Steve’s voice. 

‘What happened?’

Bucky released a shuddered breath and gripped the railing with his left hand, reminding himself not to crush it in his grip. “I convinced myself that it was okay and acted on it.”

‘And?’

“And…” Bucky closed his eyes. “And she’s in my bed right now and I’m waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares and questioning whether I should ever have anything as normal as this or even deserve it.” There was silence on the other end, a long silence. “Well?”

‘Sorry, you just caught me off guard. Buck, look, we already know things aren’t going to come easy for you, but that doesn’t mean it won’t get better, and that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve for it to get better. Does she know everything about you? Does she understand?’

“Yes,” was all Bucky said, but that one word didn’t really explain a lot. Steve didn’t know how well she understood. 

‘Then trust her to make this decision for herself. If she makes you happy, and you make her happy, there is nothing wrong. The only thing wrong is you talking on the phone with me in the middle of the night when you have the woman you care about in your bed.’

And as if on cue there was a sound behind him and Bucky turned to see the sliding door open and the woman herself standing in the doorway wearing nothing but his shirt, arms folded around herself, and staring at him in confusion. “Thanks Steve.”

‘Welcome. Now let me go back to bed and question why I’m still single.’

Bucky would have laughed, but his attention was on something else. He hung up the phone and lowered it to his side. “It’s cold,” he stated.

“And you’re standing outside giving everyone a free show,” Jemma responded with a small smile.

“I didn't want to wake you.” he argued lamely. She cocked an eyebrow and he was going to try and argue further, but he saw her body tremble and her arms tighten around her. “Come on,” he said finally and walked towards the doorway to push her in and out of the cold. He shut the door behind them and locked it. When he turned around she was already sitting back on the bed and had the blankets pulled over her lap.

“What is it?” She asked, concern evident on her face.

Bucky shook his head and moved around the bed. He laid onto the empty spot and rolled onto his side, immediately reaching out for her waist and tugging her down. Jemma came easily enough and slid against him, sliding her legs between his and scooting closer to his chest. Her hand rested on his back and she leaned in to kiss his lips before pulling back. 

“You’re thinking too hard again,” she said and studied his face. 

“I thought that was your thing?” He teased, trying to make the mood lighter, but he felt like he failed at it, because there was no humor in her face. 

“Are…are you sure you’re okay with this. I know you had doubts-.”

That Bucky couldn’t handle, he couldn’t take her worry or concern. The last thing he wanted was for her to doubt how much he wanted her. “I’m not changing my mind. If anyone would be it’s you.”

“Don’t be a fool,” Jemma admonished and pulled her hand from his back to lift it to his face. “It doesn’t suit you. I will change my mind though if you leave this bed again and make me walk into the cold to find you.”

His hand had already slid down her back as she spoke and cupped her ass beneath his shirt. “I’m warm.”

“Well, that only makes one of us,” Jemma said with a frown and patted his cheek. “I’ve told you that your body temperature-.”

Bucky slid his hand down and grasped her thigh. “How about we skip the science lesson,” he said as he slid his leg between hers, “and we warm you up,” Bucky finished as he rolled her onto her back and settled between her thighs.

Jemma smiled and slid a hand up his arm. “Have we discussed the benefits of your unnaturally high stamina?”

“No,” he responded and dipped his head to her neck, kissing the exposed flesh. “But I’m more interested in showing you the benefits then discussing it.” She laughed softly until he pressed his hand between her legs and slid two fingers into her.

“Later,” Jemma said breathlessly and closed her eyes, “we’re going to talk about what’s bothering you.”

Bucky didn’t respond verbally, he only lifted his head and kissed her, hard, swallowing her whimper as he worked his fingers inside of her. He’d lose himself in her for the night and forget about what troubled him. In the morning he’d tell her and let her convince him that it would all be okay. If Steve and Jemma said it would be okay, the two people he cared about the most, trusted the most, then it had to be.


End file.
